Going the extra mile but met with hostility and rejection.

The ugly truth: why they do not appreciate you. 

"I love my stepchildren more than anything! Their mother hates me for it! She is trying to stop me loving them!" 

There is a high percentage of women who fall in love not with the man himself, but with the drama that accompanies his situation. These women are often attention-seekers.

They insist on being introduced to his children, regardless of whether the children, their father, or anyone else is ready. They complain that they have been "dating for ages" but their boyfriend is not ready to "make the next step". They usually insist on being recognised as his girlfriend, because they want attention.

They insist on meeting the ex-partner early in the relationship. They want attention. They want to be seen and talked about. 

They want to be part of every call, video call, and FaceTime session between the father and his children. Attention-seeking via "look, I am with your dad now!". 

Already during the dating stage they insist on being involved in the children's life events, such as school assemblies, sports events, and other activities. Attention-seeking from community. 

They spend money to buy separate gifts for birthdays and Christmas that are from them, not from the father and herself jointly. Then they complain how they put so much effort in the gift giving, but his children (and family members) did not show enough gratitude. 

They purchase gifts, pay for entertainment, throw parties for his children, and arrange playdates with his children's school mates because this makes them to be a subject for peoples conversations. Another way to satisfy their need for attention. 

They demand to be called stepmum and refer to his children as their stepchildren prematurely, sometimes even before meeting them in person. She might tell people that her step children want her to be called "mum" not "stepmum". With a contentious topic like this, she will ensure that people will discuss her over and over: is it "right" or "wrong" to be called stepmum at this stage. She will be the name mentioned by everyone around her. 

These actions can create a host of difficult emotions for everyone involved, which these women might start to enjoy as the drama unfolds. They will complain on social media about how they are going the extra mile but are only met with hostility and rejection. They will launch podcasts and TikToks about their hard lives and how they are unappreciated. Attention-seeking.

Or they will make videos to show off that they are deliberately upsetting their step children's mother.

Many of them will start support or “therapy” groups to gather people around them who will pay to listen to their stories. Attention-seeking.