Why Separated Parents Often Choose Frequent Transitions?

Co-Parenting Myths No. 5: 

"Frequent Swaps Between Two Homes are Better"

Although we know that frequent swapping can be stressful for both children and parents, many still insist that it's “best for the children.” But why?

One key reason is that parents want to see their children often but in shorter periods. Looking after a child for a short period is easier: a parent can focus entirely on their children for a day or two, switching out of everyday tasks to be the “super mum” or the “super dad.” Then, it's time to send the children to the other parent and have some downtime to rest and “live your life.” For some parents, having their child for a longer stretch of time would be overwhelming and tiring. They need frequent rest breaks from parenting.

There is another key reason that people are less willing to discuss: control and communication. When parents swap every two days, it forces them to stay in constant contact, making it difficult for either parent to make plans without consulting the other. This system means parents must continuously coordinate and inform each other about their personal schedules, from holidays to social outings. Frequent exchanges ensure that the other parent must coordinate their personal activities, such as holidays or social events, during their designated parenting time. This regular communication ensures that both parents remain aware of each other's schedules, even those not related to parenting.

With this frequent handover schedule, one parent can know when the other is going on holiday, meeting friends, attending family celebrations without the children, and even dating. It justifies questions like: "Where are you going? With whom are you going? I will not agree to the swap if you don't tell me why you need this swap." Frequent handovers, therefore, help maintain a level of communication and involvement that might be lost with a week-on, week-off arrangement.

Coparenting myth 1 and 2

Coparenting myth 3 and 4

Coparenting is a myth

How to help children with transitioning between parents:

https://storkdeliveringbabies.blogspot.com/2023/12/how-to-help-children-with-transition.html?m=1