When we should not "open our children's eyes" to let them see, that the other parent is a bad person.

 It's so hurtful for us, as caring and loving parents, to see the other parent saying things that make our child forgive them, despite the fact they are a bad person. We really want our children to open their eyes and see that the other parent doesn't care and doesn't love them as much as we do. They don't do as much for them as we do!

You can read about how children might carry our hurt inside of themselves from this chapter: when-the other-parent-is-abandoned-our child 

It feels so unfair that my child cannot see this. In our personal need for fairness, we forget that children are not looking for fairness. They want to know: am I good enough to be loved? Am I worthy of being loved? If we take away their belief that their dad loves them more than anything (even if he doesn’t always show it), we take away our child's self-worth. This is where therapists often say: love your child more than you hate your ex. Make your child believe that they are amazing and loved by both parents, even if you find it hard to believe yourself. Just as we made them believe in Santa, the Tooth Fairy, and the Elf on the Shelf. The benefit is that when they are older (perhaps not until adulthood), they will see who genuinely cared and who took the easy path. They will grow up knowing they are good enough to be loved, and if someone chooses not to love them, it’s that person’s loss, not their fault. In a different scenario, a child who believes that the other parent doesn’t love them enough, properly, or at all, will spend their life trying to earn that love from that other parent. They develop a self-image of not being worthy of love. If their own parent does not love them, they think something must be wrong with them. No matter how often you try to convince them that they're fine and the other parent is the problem, it won’t help. To that child, it means that half of them is made of a bad person, and thus, they are a bad person too. Unfortunately, this is how a young mind works. Similarly, just as children often blame themselves subconsciously or in secret for their parents' separation, they will also blame themselves for not being good enough to be loved by that parent. They will try to earn that love and will always feel bad about themselves. Such children often end up in abusive relationships because they feel they have to earn love, work to be worthy of love, and won’t expect to be loved for who they are.

Read more articles here:

1. How dare he/she abandon our children!
   

2. It is not possible to "have an accident baby" or "become a parent unplanned". No baby can be born without a mum choosing to have a baby.

3. Why Co-parenting is always full of conflicts and never friendly or business like, as we imagined at the beginning.
4. Why is the mother of his child so high in conflict?
5. Why should the Ex feel hurt? They were the ones who walked out of their marriage!   
6. Why ex demands "family time" when dad has a new relationship?
7.  Should your co-parent talk to your partner?  What is the "silent treatment" in a stepfamily situation?
8. How ignoring some of the so-called "The Good Co-parent" rules can be a good thing for your children's mental health
9.  Why does reading about how good co-parenting should look, usually will make things worse for you.
10. Co-parenting myths. Myth nr 1 and 2
    
11. Co-parenting myths. Myth nr 3 and 4
12. When we should not "open our children's eyes" to let them see, that the other parent is a bad person. 
13. Coercive control after separation and in co-parenting situations.
14. Communication examples 1 - coordinating plans
15. Communication examples 2 - how much should a parent call when children are with another parent?
16. Communication Examples 3 - When the other parent sends upsetting messages.
17. How to have successful calls/facetime with babies and young children.
18. Co-parenting or a Polyaffective sub-family? What I am getting myself into here?
19. How the "not residential parent" could successfully get information from children's school.
20. Should you meet the mother of his children? Why those meetups are so important to the large number of people. 
21. What about the grandparents? 
22. My partner's family and friends are talking about the woman with whom he has children. Why do they have to? Am I disrespected by them? 
23. I am trying to do the right thing. Reading all the information I can find. Why I am still failing with the co-parenting situation?